From Sober Curious to Sober
6 months alcohol free
23rd December 2023
Today, I am 176 days sober.
For a long time I have been reluctant to call it a sobriety journey, opting more for the cutesy words of detox or health kick or anything else that focuses on the solution rather than the problem. But sobriety is exactly what it is.
As we fast approach Christmas Day, I am coming to the realisation that I will be hitting 6 months of sobriety over a season that in recent years has been filled with as much alcohol as possible, all the bring your own booze parties the world has to offer and an ever present culture that it’s an outrage if there’s not a drink with an alcohol percentage in my hand at any given time. I am also realising that for as long as it has been legal for me to drink (and let’s be honest, a long time before it was), I have drunk and that means that this will be my first sober Christmas in my adult life.
My first sober Christmas.
At age 29.
That hurts my head.
I can list you off multiple times throughout my life where I have been one of those people judging someone for their lack of alcohol consumption and as I bring those instances to the forefront of my mind now, I feel a queasiness in the pit of my stomach at having that mindset towards others. Though, that being said, we are products of our environment and as someone who grew up in the UK, being a drinker is an assumed custom, an expectation.
Non-drinkers are the exception and not the rule.
We’re proud binge drinkers who measure the success of a good night out on the intensity of a hangover the day after and then we gather our comrades to exchange tales of the night before, taking it in turns to tell one another just how drunk we were and the embarrassing things that we might have done with all of that liquid confidence coursing through our veins.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss that. Alcohol is an easy way in for making friends, it’s a commonality that brings people together and nothing makes you realise that more than when you decide to stop drinking and people get awkward around you for making a conscious decision to no longer drink.
“Is it for your religion?”
“Do you have a health issue?”
“But why?”
“Not even one?!”
Four of many of the dumbfounded questions I have been asked since being more vocal about not drinking. I used to hone in on it being a detox or a bit of a health kick after a particularly heavy session or give any other answer that would appease them and get them to leave me alone. 6 months on, I’ve started answering it by saying, “Because I don’t want to.” Sure, maybe a little blunt but equally there’s something to be said for why we as a society feel like we have to question someone for wanting to make health improvements before a moment of intervention is needed.
Day 182 will be on 29th December 2023 and will mark the 6 month period of me being sober. It’ll be right around the corner from my first sober New Year at that point. Another milestone and another moment to take stock of the customary ways that have long since become tradition.
I am not of the impression that alcohol is reserved for heathens or that everyone should be pouring their bottles down the sink and drinking water as the only way forward. If you’ve read what I wrote 6 weeks into this journey (read it here), then you will know that it’s been an eye opening and very tough experience for me in parts. It has gotten easier but that doesn’t mean it is easy and I have lost count of how many times I have stared longingly out of a window like I’m in some 90s Backstreet Boys music video and uttered the words, “I miss wine.”
I can say wholeheartedly, that completely removing it from my life has been one of the best decisions that I’ve made this year and I would welcome anyone to try it, even for a short period of time and note the differences you might feel in your body and your mind.
It was never my intention to give it up completely.
This started as a month long “detox” following a booze filled family wedding in Corfu earlier in the year that left me sitting hungover on a plane with swollen ankles because I was so dehydrated.
Now? I have no desire to start drinking again and can see why people get evangelistic about it. Aside from a select few that are doing it for social media clout, chances are people are shouting about the benefits of sobriety because they want you to reap the rewards of it too.
I know that’s the case for me.
I hope that this time next year, I’ll be talking about being a year and a half sober and I can guarantee that if I am, I won’t be saying that I regret it.
I know when it comes to addiction people talk about trying something once, enjoying it and then continuing to do it despite it having negative consequences. I believe a similar thing to be true with giving up alcohol. I tried it for a month, enjoyed it, continued to do it and now I am in a position where the pros outweigh the cons and there’s a high chance that I’ll probably give it up for good.
So whatever you’re up to this festive season, may you be well and take care of yourself. If I have piqued your curiosity about being sober, then January could be the perfect time to give it a go in a month that has been successfully marketed as “Dry January”.
I am in no way a medical professional and if you believe that you might have a problem with alcohol that is having a detrimental impact on your way of life, seek help from medical experts.
That being said, here are a few resources that were helpful to me and might well be helpful to you too. :
Try Dry App - This app has been pivotal in me keeping track of my dry days and setting goals. It’s free and really easy to use! https://alcoholchange.org.uk/help-and-support/managing-your-drinking/dry-january/get-involved/the-dry-january-app
Dr. Alex George - At this point, I would listen to him list off the phone book but he speaks passionately about a number of topics, sobriety being one of them. He’s on his own journey with it and has just hit the year mark of sobriety. His podcast, Stompcast is a great resource overall for talking about life but here is a video of him discussing 5 must reads around sober curiosity.
Here’s another where he chats about giving up alcohol
The Naked Mind (book) - “In a world defined by ‘never enough’ Annie takes us on an intellectual journey through the world of alcohol and specifically the connection between alcohol and pleasure. She dispels the cultural myth that alcohol is a vital part of life and demonstrates how regaining control over alcohol is not only essential to personal happiness and fulfilment but also to ending the heartache experienced by millions as a result of second-hand drinking.”
Wishing you a truly wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Thank you for reading the peaks and troughs that have been my life this last year and I’ll be back with you next year xxxxxxxxxxx
Congratulations and thank you for sharing your wisdom. Have a beautiful Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. When I gave up gluten, which, in turn, also largely included giving up alcohol, I experienced many of the reactions from people you shared. Years later, I'm glad to have walked the difficult, narrow path to a healthier, empowered, boundary-setting me.
"Because I don't want to" -- love this and love you!