Me and My ADHD : This is Not a One Size Fits All!
Note the phrase, "MY ADHD"- relatable but never identical.
These are just some of the things that I have thought about in the last hour! There is no correlation to this list or the order that this list comes in. Sometimes I’m thinking about more than one of these things at the same time.
This is not an extensive list.
Omelettes - Have hyper-fixated on these for dinner for about a week now!
Dairy free doughnuts
Tidying the kitchen (this is a daily thing)
Whether or not the people I’m currently collaborating with like me or whether they’re secretly meeting up to discuss no longer working with me (irrational, of course but there all the same)
Maisie Peters’ new album- The Good Witch (I had this on repeat for an entire week)
Feel Good on Netflix
Heartstopper on Netflix
My Substack stats
My skin
Whether or not I’m accidentally ingesting dairy products
My career
My writing
My weight
Whether or not I’m making a difference in the world
Voice notes
Walking 7 miles a day
Getting 8 hours of sleep
Reading the Bible
How terrifying it is that God knows my every move and why people don’t think about this more!!!!!
My mortality
I worked a 12 hour day by accident because I wasn’t paying attention to the time.
That one comment that someone said to me without meaning any offense by it and how it’s kept me up at night.
How much I love the smell of citrus fruits
That same lounge outfit I’ve worn for the last 5 days despite having a whole wardrobe full of clothes that I forget I have because they’re not right in front of me.
Forgetting to eat.
Comedy and all things comedy and everything that encompasses comedy.
My arms
Harry Styles
Muna
The song, “Closer” by Tegan and Sara
Finley from The L Word: Generation Q
Sticking to a routine
When I don’t stick to my routine, which some people do call over-regimented, then I end up getting so distracted that I get absolutely nothing done with my day, yet I’m so exhausted by the end of it because my brain activity is through the roof constantly!!
Last week, I posted a story on Instagram asking for ways to remain motivated when it’s difficult to get things done. I didn’t realise just how divisive asking this would be. In my mind, I was asking for pointers for when my whole being is exhausted to the point of not being able to move and yet I still have to get up and go (because otherwise day off could turn into a week off which could easily turn into a month off.) A lot of people took this as me trying to promote toxic positivity. It got me thinking about just how neurotypical the world around me is and just how much of my life has been trying to fit that mould without addressing that it might not be how my brain works. I don’t know what the right answer is in combatting this but I do know that I’m committed to talking about it more and talking about my experience as much as I possibly can.
So these are a few are the things that I know to be true, for myself:
I know that it’s the reason why I have so many projects happening all at once.
I know that it’s the reason why the ideas keep coming even if I feel uninspired.
I know that sometimes I have to reign it in a little bit and I can’t do everything.
I know that it’s the reason why flexible working works so well for me.
I know that I don’t enjoy it when people refer to it as a superpower, equally I dislike it when people make it out to be this terrible thing. It has both its pros and its cons.
I know that I strongly dislike when people try to tell me about my ADHD as if they’re the ones living it.
I also know that people are often just trying to help or understand, even if the methods of doing so can come across slightly questionable.
I’m not angry at the people who contacted me concerned that I wasn’t resting enough or that I was over striving, because I think the topic of ADHD is so misunderstood.
I don’t even understand it myself, fully.
I’m trying to figure out how I work and I’m doing so whilst also fighting the stigma that I have about living with this.
So go easy. Not just on me, but on others too! Getting diagnosed as an adult is tricky business and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t downgrade my diagnosis to a social media trend or a bandwagoning event.
I don’t feel cool having ADHD but I do feel cool being authentically me, even if it’s not pleasing to your palette.
That is my one and only superpower.
Keep in touch by dropping me a follow over on Instagram
If you enjoyed this week’s piece of my brain, please share with a pal.
If you enjoyed reading, let me know! I love hearing from you!
Give me a dopamine hit by liking/commenting.
☕ Keep my hydrated as I put the world to rights by buying me a cuppa here ☕
All of this!
In particular: That one comment that someone said to me without meaning any offense by it and how it’s kept me up at night.
So for me it is actually the reverse. It is not what others said to me, but rather what I have said to others. My stupid word vomit is so frequent that my mouth is always two steps ahead of my brain and usually plays out as follows: I say something, then realise it made no sense "Hmmm what did you mean by that Lauren, I actually have no idea?", then in wondering what it means, I realise it was either revealing/embarrassing or offensive to the person... or both. Then I think about it for months and months. I am working on it.
Thank you for your writing, as always, dear friend.